whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
