I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
