plz talk dirty to me
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she peed on how many people?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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