the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
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we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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