Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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