u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
