How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just want to make out with him forever
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
