May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
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