I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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