hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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