dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
