the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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