so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
