my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
