I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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