Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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