People in love make me want to vomit
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
