I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he shaved USA in his pubs
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
