hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
