we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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