How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
