Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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