terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
