ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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