i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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