is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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