school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
