he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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