i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Randomize
