Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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