The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
