I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
