worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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