She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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