I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
