First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
