You work out of a Hotel?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
