someone owes me an orgasm
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
