Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
