first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
