Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
