i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
