My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize