Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
