Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
