Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Randomize
