im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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