u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
