I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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