loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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