Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
