Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
