I hate all girls vehemently.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
