I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
