there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
