they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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