Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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