yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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