So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
