she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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