Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
