I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize