I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
