Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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